Five Police Officers Shot. Three Killed. Behind Her “I’m Fine.”
West Palm Beach, Fl - Five Police Officers Shot. Three Killed. Behind Her “I’m Fine.” Moncton Shooting: Tammy Ward’s Hidden Struggle After Five Officers Were Shot.
Three RCMP officers were killed. Two were wounded. Retired Sergeant Tammy Ward helped lead a grieving team while concealing her own distress, and the running she used to cope eventually took a serious physical toll.
Read more or listen to Tammy Ward’s free podcast interview.
Five police officers were shot. Three never came home.
Tammy Ward was off duty, just around the corner.
The June 4, 2014, shooting in Moncton, New Brunswick, devastated a Canadian community and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers who served it. For Ward, the aftermath brought leadership responsibilities, additional heartbreaking losses, and a private struggle behind an outward appearance of composure.
She continued working. She supported colleagues. She appeared to be managing.
But her familiar answer, “I’m fine”, left much of her experience unspoken.
As a guest on the Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show and Podcast, Ward discusses the shooting, the grief that followed, and the running routine she relied on while her health deteriorated.
The Moncton Shooting and the Officers Who Never Came Home
On June 4, 2014, an armed attacker targeted RCMP officers in Moncton, Canada.
Constables Fabrice Gevaudan, Douglas Larche, and David Ross were killed. Constables Eric Dubois and Darlene Goguen were wounded.
Behind those names were families, friendships, and colleagues whose lives were permanently changed.
Ward describes being nearby and off duty when the shooting occurred. In the days afterward, she was asked to help lead the watch of the unit that had lost three officers.
That responsibility placed her alongside people grieving their colleagues while continuing to serve the public. She was helping the team move through the aftermath while carrying her own response to the tragedy.
Leading a Grieving Police Team
Ward’s ability to connect with people became especially important after the shooting.
According to her professional biography, colleagues spoke openly with her, and that trust helped keep her in the leadership role. Compassion had a practical place in the work of supporting a devastated team.
But being someone others could approach did not remove her own need for support.
Her experience illustrates how easily a capable person’s distress can remain unseen. A leader may listen, meet responsibilities, and remain dependable while struggling privately.
Others see the work getting done. They may have little understanding of what it costs the person doing it.
For Ward, the grief surrounding Moncton was followed by more loss.
Two More Deaths in a Short Period
In her podcast account, Ward describes losing a friend who was a retired police officer to suicide just 12 days after the shooting.
Approximately three months later, an active-duty officer also died by suicide.
These were separate tragedies with their own circumstances. Her account does not establish why either officer died. It does reveal the weight of multiple losses arriving within a short period.
Ward continued to project an image that she was okay.
Privately, she was not.
That distance between her outward presentation and her inner experience would eventually become central to the work she now does as a speaker.
“I’m Fine”: Tammy Ward’s “Other F Word”
Ward calls “fine” “The Other F Word.”
The phrase captures a familiar moment: someone asks how a colleague is doing, receives a reassuring answer, and moves on.
Sometimes that answer tells the whole story. Sometimes it closes the conversation before the difficult part can be spoken.
For Ward, “I’m fine” connects directly to her experience of appearing capable while struggling underneath. Her responsibilities were visible. Much of her pain remained private.
Her story invites readers to consider what they actually know about the people they rely on.
A completed shift does not reveal everything. Neither does a busy schedule, a composed appearance, or a quick reassurance.
Ward’s work encourages more honest communication and helps leaders find language for responding when someone opens up. One principle she emphasizes is to talk “TO a person” rather than “ABOUT the person.”
That means approaching someone directly, listening, and allowing space for an answer beyond the one everyone expects.
Running Became Her Way to Cope
Movement had been part of Ward’s life long before her police career.
Beginning at age 19, she taught classical ballet and jazz. She studied dance in England and helped pay her way through university by teaching.
Physical discipline was familiar ground.
After the Moncton shooting and the losses that followed, she turned to running to manage stress.
To someone watching from the outside, a demanding exercise routine might look like determination. The person is active, follows a routine, and keeps moving forward.
Ward describes a more complicated experience.
In her podcast conversation, she recounts dangerous weight loss and a deterioration in her health alongside her reliance on running. The coping method she used eventually came at a serious physical cost.
Her story shows how an activity can be visible while the distress surrounding it remains hidden.
People could see that she was running.
They could not necessarily see how much she was hurting.
Hear Tammy Ward describe her experience in the free podcast interview.
The Limits of Looking Like You Are Managing
Ward continued working, helping others, and exercising.
Those parts of her life were real. So was her struggle.
Her account challenges the assumption that someone who remains productive must be doing well. Meeting responsibilities can tell us about a person’s ability to keep functioning without revealing how they feel.
The same is true of the person everyone trusts. Being available to others does not necessarily make it easier to discuss their own needs.
For Ward, the physical consequences of her coping routine became another indication that she was not fine.
She describes having to develop resilience to save her own life. Her message today connects resilience with honest communication and meaningful support.
That experience gives depth to her speaking. The words “I’m fine” represent a period of her life when a reassuring answer concealed something serious.
Twenty-Four Years of RCMP Service Across Canada
Ward served 24 years with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Her assignments across Canada included general duty, major crime, domestic violence, and community relations.
Those roles brought her into contact with people experiencing some of their hardest moments. They also gave her firsthand experience of the pressures carried by officers responding to those situations.
Her work today draws on both her professional career and her personal experience after Moncton.
As a speaker and workshop leader, she helps people find words for difficult conversations about mental wellness, resilience, and support. She also helps leaders respond with greater confidence when someone shares a struggle.
Her experience raises a question that extends well beyond policing:
Does the person everyone turns to have someone they can turn to themselves?
A Message for First Responders, Leaders, and Families
Ward’s story has relevance for police officers, firefighters, paramedics, military veterans, and their families. It also speaks to anyone who has maintained a composed appearance while struggling privately.
A colleague may continue doing excellent work while carrying grief. A leader may support an entire team while needing support themselves. A family member may offer reassurance because they have not yet found the words to explain what is wrong.
Ward’s message encourages people to make room for a fuller conversation.
Her experience leading a grieving police watch shows why compassion matters within a team. Her private struggle shows why that compassion also needs to reach the people providing it.
When someone says, “I’m fine,” there may be more to hear.
Listen to Tammy Ward’s Full Story
On the Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show and Podcast, retired RCMP Sergeant Tammy Ward discusses the Moncton shooting, the losses that followed, and the running routine she used while concealing her distress.
Her interview offers a closer look at the person behind the composed appearance and the experiences that shaped her message today.
Read more and listen to the free podcast here.
The podcast is available on the Law Enforcement Talk website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, iHeartRadio, and most major podcast platforms. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for guest stories and episode updates.
Learn more about Tammy’s speaking and workshops at TammyWardSpeaks.com.
Please listen and share this interview with a colleague, friend, or family member. Tammy’s experience may help someone recognize their own struggle, or encourage them to listen more closely to a person they care about.
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