No to Excitement: A Retired Cop’s Guide to Drama-Free Living
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| Police Car Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show and Pexels |
Let me share how I got here, and why I believe saying no to excitement is the ultimate act of self-care.
Redefining Excitement: Lessons from the Streets of Baltimore
I spent my career in one of the toughest jobs imaginable—patrolling the streets of Baltimore in the 1980s. It was like living inside a never-ending true crime series.
During those years, I was involved in four shootings, rescued people from burning buildings (twice), survived countless close calls with guns, and fought armed felons who had allegedly taken lives. My last shooting left me with lifelong wrist injuries and a medical retirement after three surgeries and two steel plates.
None of those events played out like they do in the news media, movies or TV dramas. Most were chaotic, terrifying, and anything but glamorous. For instance, in two shootings, I didn’t even return fire. The reality of violence isn’t cinematic; it’s messy, painful, and leaves scars, both visible and invisible.
The Hidden Cost of a Life in Chaos
Physical injuries were just the beginning. After years of high-stakes policing, the psychological toll was undeniable. I, like many in law enforcement, faced the challenges of **PTSD**, anxiety, and what I’ve come to call the "Sunday afternoon doldrums".
The doldrums are a heavy sense of unease, a restlessness that often creeps in when the adrenaline stops. Early in my retirement, Sundays were particularly hard. Without the constant chaos of the job, I felt unmoored, even bored. Over time, though, I realized this wasn’t boredom, it was my mind adjusting to peace, something it hadn’t known in decades.
Choosing Peace Over Excitement
Living through so much trauma taught me a profound truth: "peace is underrated". After years of survival mode, I made a deliberate choice to pursue a life free of drama.
Excitement, at least the kind I once knew, doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I’ve seen what it does to the mind and body. Chronic stress rewires your brain, keeping your "amygdala", your internal alarm system, on high alert. This overdrive makes it hard to switch off the fight-or-flight response, even when the danger is long gone.
To truly heal, I had to reframe my relationship with calm. Instead of seeing it as boring, I embraced it as a gift.
How I Built a Drama-Free Life
Here are the practices that help me maintain my peaceful lifestyle:
1. "Stick to a Routine"
I wake up and go to bed around the same time every day. This structure keeps my body and mind steady, giving me a sense of control.
2. "Prioritize Mindfulness"
Daily meditation and prayer grounds me. They remind me to stay present and appreciate the calm I’ve worked so hard to create.
3. "Practice Acceptance"
My past is part of my story, but it doesn’t define me. Accepting what happened allows me to move forward without being trapped by old memories.
4."Set Firm Boundaries"
I avoid people and situations that bring unnecessary drama. It’s not about running away, it’s about protecting the peace I’ve earned.
The Myth of Boredom
For a long time, I thought a lack of excitement meant life would be dull. But I’ve learned that’s far from the truth.
A drama-free life is full of subtle joys: a quiet walk in nature, reading a great book, spending time with loved ones, or simply sitting in silence. These moments might not make headlines, but they bring a depth of contentment that adrenaline never could.
True Crime vs. True Peace
True crime podcasts and TV shows captivate audiences with tales of danger and drama. For me, having lived that reality, the allure is lost. The adrenaline, the chaos, the endless cycle of conflict—it all comes at a cost.
These days, I choose balance, healing, and quiet moments that nurture my soul.
So, Did I Do Anything Exciting This Weekend?
No. And that’s exactly the way I want it.
Living without drama isn’t about avoiding life, it’s about creating space for what truly matters. It’s finding joy in the everyday, prioritizing mental health, and saying “no” to the kind of excitement that drains instead of fulfills.
If you’re craving a simpler, calmer life, take it from someone who’s been through the extremes: there’s magic in saying no to excitement. The peace you gain is worth every bit of the quiet.
John Jay Wiley is the host of the nationally syndicated Law Enforcement Talk Radio Show and podcast, you can listen to podcast episodes for free on their website, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or most major podcast platforms. You can stay updated about his story and many others simply by following us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and most all social media platforms.
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